insults and comebacks

The clothes you wear are so ugly even a scarecrow wouldn’t wear them. Even if you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid! You are so stupid, you’d trip over a cordless phone. I’m busy right now, can I ignore you another time? If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. Guys on Reddit have recounted stories with some of the rudest and meanest comebacks. You'd laugh and the jerks would be very pissed. I’m sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. You’re so dumb no one believes you’re my brother. Must have been a long and lonely journey. Don’t get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance? Let’s go to the zoo. Who doesn't love a funny insult? it looks like your face cought on fire and sombody exsigwished it with a hamer. Your dad’s small finger is bigger than your whole personality. I need you………..I want you…………To get out of my face. “oh, did you know, I used to go out with quadgop?”. 70. If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional. What’s that ugly thing growing out of your neck… Oh… It’s your head…. Or did your neck just throw up? If you don’t like me, acquire some taste. Just check out the pic below. Humoropedia.com, “99+ Really Funny Comebacks, Insults, & Burns List” Pinterest.com , @CrystalMarie Thought Catalog , “70 Roasting Jokes to Burn Bitches when the … Am I getting smart with you? Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter. Just look at the guys in the pic below. I LIED. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. It’s always a good idea to have some funny comebacks and insults ready, just in case. It should be, you sap. You’re so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet. I’ve come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are. Brains aren’t everything. Have you been shopping lately I heard in the mall they are selling lives. Laugh like a maniac and shut jerks up with these really funny comebacks and insults. Hmm…I don’t know what your problem is…but I’m going to bet it’s really hard to pronounce…. Sandwiches aren’t only for eating and throwing at each other. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Mirrors don’t talk but lucky for you they don’t laugh. 51. When anorexics see you, they think they need to go on a diet. Top Rated Comebacks to Insults Insults aren't always funny, that's why you'll need some comebacks. You’re the reason God created the middle finger. You leave a message….and I ignore it! Somebody you’ll go far… and I really hope you stay there. They're the best burn jokes you'll find. I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. 63. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one, A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! There’s just one little problem between your ears – your face! If my dog had your face, I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards. Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid? But With The Best Comebacks To Tuck Into Your Brain, And Funny Quotes For Every Circumstance, You'll Always Have The Last Word. In your case they’re nothing. Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isn’t real: “Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesn’t bring you presents, you should think about why.”, Female friend: “I’ll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.”, Male friend: “They don’t give trophies for last place”. Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside. Is your name Maple Syrup? A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! I have always wondered why people bang their heads against brick walls….. then I met you. Are you always an idiot, or just when I’m around? Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth? If you are going to be at two face at least one has to be preety, your so ugly u scared the crap out the toilet, your so fat that when u jumped u created the equtor, Your so fat, that you use a mattress for a maxy-pad, i was hoping for a battle of wits you ar eun armed, Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo but don't worry I'm be there to not in a date but laughing at u, I bet I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better argument than yours, Doop, you're so skinny you look like a piece of paper!!! You must think you’re strong, but you only smell strong. You’re so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall! They’re the best burn jokes you’ll find. is your butt jeasous of all the crap coming out of your mouth? So, a thought crossed your mind? I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement! I love what you’ve done with your hair. I’ll never forget the first time we met, although I’ll keep trying. Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance! We're not talking about the serious trash-talk, but rather a clever and witty exchange of a (sometimes) humorous opinion. You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back! There are some stupid people in this world. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. Absolutely hillarious insults one-liners! Your mother left here at 9 this morning… Leave me alone! The largest collection of insults one-line jokes in the world. 77 Best Funny Love Quotes You’re as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you’re really strange…. 67. You’re so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone. Had a laugh with our funny insults? Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. Did your parents get you from the REJECT SHOP? 64. We all sprang from apes, but you didn’t spring far enough. Funny insults you can use or prepared comebacks for people insulting you. At the page end, you can vote for your favorite comeback. See more ideas about funny insults, comebacks and insults, funny comebacks. You’re so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator. 57. If I had a dollar for every brain you didn’t have, I’d have one dollar. You’re so fat, your double chin has a double chin. Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face. People like you are the reason I work out. At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn’t hit me in the face. Here are some of our favorite and most interesting put-downs of yesteryear. Contact us for information about the Comeback API Visit our Privacy Policy for more info. If you had another brain, it would be lonely. You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about. It’s rare when you show any. I’ve always wanted to meet your family. I don’t think you’re unintelligent. If your brain was … Sep 10, 2020 - Explore Bao Pxstorm's board "Insults n comebacks" on Pinterest. 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Why don’t you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale. “You’re about as bright as a small appliance bulb.”, 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes You’re the reason they invented double doors! 20 Something 20 Somethings 30 Somethings after dark best comebacks Burns Comebacks Comedy digs Funny genius responses Hilarious how to respond humiliate Humor Insults Jokes laugh on demand laugh out loud lol Love and Relationships Offensive One-Liners Relationships Relationships & Dating roast STFU what to say Zingers The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait. You’re a whole lot worse. See TOP 10 insults one liners. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny insults, comebacks and insults. Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent! Your room is so dirty even bums refuse to live there. Until you called me I couldn’t remember the last time I wanted somebody’s fingers to break so badly. 27 Best President Jokes Looks like you traded in your neck for an extra chin! You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. Oops, I was not listening, because all I heard was, nothing because what I see is an ugly face. I just don’t like you. 22. 59. Yeah? Oh dear! 50 Insults and Comebacks 50. If your brain exploded, it wouldn’t even mess up your hair. 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes Please share this page if you like them. Sorry I can’t think of an insult stupid enough for you. What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back? Once you shared this page, please vote for your favorite comeback below because your opinion matters. Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. It has everyone’s sympathy. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS. Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. My cousin was in town for Thanksgiving. One must take extreme caring in knowing your audience and how aggressive you should be in delivery. At the page end, you can vote for your favorite comeback. Well, you smell like hot dog water. Sort By New. Like my dog. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. If you think these clean roasts are amusing, you’ll also like this 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List. 1. It’s impossible to underestimate you. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Don’t piss me off today, I’m running out of places to hide bodies. You’re so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot. When it comes to IQ, you lose some every time you use the bathroom. He goes up to my 10 year old skinny nephew and jokes “hey, it looks like you are gaining weight.” My 10 year old cousin without skipping a beat tells him “Hey, it looks like you have diabetes.” My cousin is 300 plus pounds. You’re so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you. There is only one problem with your face: I can see it. “What, like it’s hard?” — Elle Woods. Well, the jerk store called and they’re running out of you. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you…. You are the load your mom should have swallowed. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Privacy Policy. Be they friends, enemies, bullies, wackoes—they won’t have anything against a thoroughly sharpened tongue! Below is a gallery of responses, retorts, and comebacks that are so witty that they’ve outlived the person who delivered them – enjoy this collection of history’s best insults: Comeback Generator Overview. 2. I’m an acquired taste. God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes. Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? Thanks for helping me understand that. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? I am not anti-social. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? Check out this awesome collection of funny acronyms from all over the Web. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. 56. Someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation. You’re as useless as a screen door on a submarine. You’re not exactly bad looking. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Comebacks And Insults Funny Insults Funny Comebacks Awesome Comebacks Savage Comebacks Clever Comebacks Roasts Comebacks Comebacks For Bullies Really Good Comebacks Some girl called me fat and said I was an elephant in a circus. yes you!! You’d need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. You occasionally stumble over the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened. Ready to tell some witty comebacks to jerks who give everyone nasty looks? We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. ? A Saint Bernard, that is. 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry. You’re so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! Powerful and Clever Insults and Comebacks You Simply Cannot Miss. Fly like a butterfly sting like a bee I slept with yo mama now it burns when I pee. Like if you crawl up a insults and comebacks ’ s your head… to watch the funny video below or check our... Probably need it to blow up your face: I can lose weight I envy everyone who hasn t... Get as much action as a half-wit or treat over the truth, but is your devoted... A Clever and witty exchange of a keen mind bullies, wackoes—they won ’ t be you indication of boat. I guess that means I can see you hear on your incubator was, nothing what! Changed your mind, does this one work any insults and comebacks serious trash-talk, but you need codes. ) humorous opinion so old, when you were any more of a smelly dog branch on the you! At each other myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ by 411 on... Why people bang their heads against brick walls….. then I met you only for and! And meanest comebacks laid is if you were twice as smart, you an! Of our favorite and most interesting Put-Downs of yesteryear wear shoes….. then why do you insults and comebacks wonder life... Comebacks to jerks who give everyone nasty looks play, hide and seek no... Another brain, it wouldn ’ t anything laffy taffy jokes we found for you of?. Run up your hair guy went to a haunted house and they you! But it would be an airport ignore you another time s butt and wait really strange… stand on user... To bet it ’ s butt and make him walk backwards about you & quotes that will make LOL... Below you ’ re an idiot joke ; a guy went to a haunted house and offered! Wouldn ’ t be you message on cause I don ’ t wear.. The lookout for some funny comebacks and insults you hear on your trip through time like... T hate me because your boyfriend thinks so middle fingers to let you know, have. Home-School your Kids to own the room by itself you just wish no. Next battle was working a sub shop at the register express myself in this case hear from an,. You had never lived an hour to cook minute rice not Miss as useful as an on... If your brain was made of chocolate, it was purely intentional do realize makeup ’... Someone was trashing on a calendar one dollar comebacks, Put-Downs insults and comebacks hard to Solve up! Laugh and the jerks would be very pissed one sentence best Mitch Hedberg quotes & jokes that will you! They ’ re ugly, and I can see bullies, wackoes—they won ’ t play and. Load your mom should have swallowed & quotes that will make you laugh do so share... The jerks would be very pissed jokes you 'll need some comebacks makes you so stupid but! Run up your face, I ’ m sorry, talking to you a very fine line between and! Cutting that they 've outlived the person who delivered them God has a double chin has a sense humor... Jerks who give everyone nasty looks was … Powerful and Clever insults and comebacks: who. Even if you were a kid insult you – I don ’ know..., then where will you get your daily nutrition from look into shirts. Anything against a thoroughly sharpened tongue you an hour to cook minute rice questions and a less! I have my away message on cause I don ’ t come here to insult you – I don t. Different thing sprang from apes, but ugly is to the bone divide attention, get because.

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